Wednesday, December 22, 2004

3 Days, Getting Closer.....

New Form of Karaoke

This is a new form of Karaoke that's apparently taking the Japanese by storm. Instead of following the bouncing ball, you, errrm....follow the bouncing balls. Read the article and you'll see what I mean.

Morning all. Back in work again, and now only 3 days to Christmas. Great time to catch a cold isn't it? I blame work though (lol, I blame them for everything) and I put it down to a fire alarm fomr last night. We were all settled down doing our work; I'd somehow managed to speak to a nice customer (you treasure them in our job, you have a laugh and pass the time helping them out) and the bloody fire alarm goes off. So I had to end the call, and follow the other two hundred people out of the building and stand in the car park for 45 minutes. It turned out that some silly sod decided to smoke a fag in the toilets, and set the alarms off while trying to disguise the smell with a spray. Cheers mate, whoever the fuck you are. After we got back in, it took 5 minutes before I could move my fingers, let alone help anyone else.

And now I'm bunged up, and cheesed off.

If I got the flu on Christmas Day, I'm not going to be best pleased.

Still though, it's two days off from the grinder, so there is some consolation I suppose. I've been invited to 3 different places for Christmas lunch (either parents or a pub across the road), but after some consideration, we've decided to spend it in the house. I'm not doing a Vicar of Dibley affair (ie promise everyone I'll turn up for dinner, and end up doing all 3 on the trot), although some people say I could do it, if I don't have afters lol. So we've gotta do the cooking. The local Fire Station are on standby.

How is it that because I work with computers, every member of the family think I know absolutley anything electrically motivated? "John, you're good on the internet, my calculator's broken." Buy a new one? Learn basic Maths? Or how about fuck yourself blind with a spanner? How the flying fuck should I know? It's worse with me mam unfortunately. She does one thing 27 years ago by dropping my ugly mug out of her crotch, and then that means that she can volunteer my services to any bastard who's ever heard of the internet to them, even if they haven't got a problem. Have you ever had to explain how to do something, or how to fix something to your mother? Fucking nightmare scenario; I get home from the morning part of my shift, settle down and turn my comp on to do a bit of online gaming. My phone, situated next to my comp rings. I hesitantly answer the phone.
"Hi John, is Catherine here."
"Mam's friend?"
"Yeah, that's right."
"Errrr, what can I do for you?"
"I've got this problem with the PC, is asking to reinstall some drivers or something?"
"Righhhhhhht? Errrm, I'm not the best person to speak to about this Cath sorry..."
"Yeah, I've been getting this problem for the last two weeks now, ever since this Kazar thing went on."
"have you...errr...."
"and now we can't get into the internet, and some games don't work either."
"Have you played solitaire? That don't work either."
"Yes I've played.."
"And the wallpaper keeps changing as well, sometimes it turns white and I can't get nothing on it."
"How did you get my number, was it from mam? (I'll kill her)"
"How do I fix it?"
"Take the computer back to where you bought it sorry Cath (And don't ring me again either you fucking loon) . It sounds like the MSDingy file has become corrupted and Windows isn't operating within normal parameters...are you writing this down?"
"MSDingy......yeah, go on."
"And there's a missing DLL file....checking the name of was called the MSCurly.DLL I think."
"That's an odd name."
"Yep, it's so the programmers don't forget it (I'm on a roll now)."
"Anything else?"
"Oh yes, the wallpaper problem is directly related to your printer being too close to the window, and the sunlight is affecting the printer heads. The feedback causes the USB driver to conflict with the socket controller, and effects all screen activities, including wallpaper."
"That's funny, I thought that was unplugged."
"Still, you want to move that printer from the window, try getting it as far away from the light as possible."
"Ok, what else?"
"Almost forgot, there's another file you need to fix too, called the MSWurly.DLL as well, write that down."
"That should fix everything else. So take the computer back and explain the following to them."
"Ok, many thanks John, bye!" Click.

That was 4 months ago, still aint heard from her since. Must've fixed it then, always have problems with those MS Curly Wurly files :D

Basically, DON'T VOLUNTEER ME SERVICES OUT, AND I WON'T TAKE THE PISS! I'll help out when I offer (which I do, but I don't like being ordered into it).

Also, I got cheap-cellotape-glue sickness form wrapping a few presents yesterday. Among the other prezzies, I also bought this toy elephant for the missus, which she'd alrady seen. Im not going to wrap that, just for the simple reason that it would be the "Guess what I bought you luv...I'll give you a clue, it's not a toaster" as she looks at an elephant shaped mess of paper.

If this was wrapped, would you know what it was?


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