Friday, December 17, 2004

Some Disturbing People Out There, And In Here

Before anything, check this out;

Special TV

Homemade comedy channel; daft, but they try.

Back in work for the evening shift again, and am wondering where the more loonies are; the other side of the telephones, or on our side? After personal experience, I'd have to say both. True, there are some fucking loony-tunes who ring up our building, from people who've dropped their own phone screaming "Fuck me, my sausages are burning!" to people actually demanding a fucking computer to go with the internet which we provide. But there again, in this workplace, the best way to survive is to be a bit of a loony-tune yourself. To a certain degree. If you take things seriously in here, you may as well be down the job club next week licking stamps and posting letters. A friend once described this job as "the blind leading the retarded", and he was spot on. I've never had the pleasure of working somewhere where doing your job can get into almost as much trouble as not doing it, not until I started here.

Well, in fairness it wasn't always like this. As an example, I'm one of the rare members of staff here who've been employed and doing this job for more than 4 years. Out of about 400-500 staff, I'd say that there are about 40-50 who have worked here for that period of time. From then I've seen our customers change from 100,000 people who know what the internet and computing is, to 1.5 million customer who barely know what a fucking toaster is, let alone a Windows operating system. We had calls from University Professors asking us what DNS we'd need to specify, and would actually have challenging things to do here. The only challenge now is not to get caught smiling, as it is a Nazi offence.

Plus this computer that I've logged into tonight has the drunken-mouse drivers installed too. Move the mouse up, and it goes 2mm's up and 4 metres to the right.


Anyroads....what's been happening then? Um...oh yeah, that was the other thing. Swansea.

Swansea Sucks!!!!

The beloved city of Swansea (even though all of it's residents call it a town) has been away from the limelight for too long. It has been pushed to the side and has shamefully been ignored for other places like Cardiff and Mid-Wales (they filmed parts of Tomb Raider 2 in Mid-Wales, although to be honest they shouldn't have bothered). Obviously, we've had some fame recently appear from our midst's, the most recent being Catherine Zeta Jones. Even if she is one step away from necrophilia, she's certainly put Swansea into the limelight a bit. We also have the amazing success of the film Twin Town which was quite well received, and almost up there with the classic Trainspotting , which was out a year earlier. Twin Town, just in case you aint ever heard of it at all, was based entirely in Swansea, and was about the Lewis twins causing havoc among the locals. Parts of the film still make me laugh, and it's over 7 years since it hit the big screens. Apart from having been in almost every location, and recognising certain peeps in it too.

A new edition to the Swansea TV family is Mine All Mine starring Griff Rhys Jones. A comedy drama about Max Vivaldi, local skin-flint con-man who inherits the entirety of Swansea and starts running it his way. Is not that bad actually, had some funny moments on it. It's missing a couple of bits from it however, for example the tramps who take their regular toilet break outside the train station.

Just tried something out on IMDB, try searching on your own name on the site. I found this. Christ, I haven't seen Lifeforce for yonks either, although it was a bit fecking shite to be honest, it did have a high baps out count, which made it watchable.

Blimey, had time to catch-up on my other hobbie today, which is wasting time by any means neccesary. I normally do this via 1 of 4 options; Gamecube, PS2, Xbox or PC. I did a mix of the two today, playing Smackdown vs Raw, then an hour stint on Planetside on the PC (which rocks). I did do something funny the other month though, to do with the Gamecube;

With Nintendo's official products, they ask you to register on a VIP website (I think the url is which by all accounts give you prizes back for spending so much with them. Considering that you get 250 bonus points with them per game, I got roughly 8100 points registered lol. The funny thing I did was to do with their forums, maintained to allow kids to post anything "cool and funky" which comes up Nintendo related. I thought I'd check these forums out of sheer boredom, and came across an article relating to motion sickness. Basically a few kids had tried playing Metroid Prime, and after about half an hour they had all had to quit with complaints of being dizzy or ill. So they posed the question "Anybody know any ways around this?". Jeccius steps to the podium, cape blowing heroicly in the wind, ready for the windup oppertunity.

"Well, I've been doing some digging around the internet on this, as a few of my friends suffered from it when playing Quake. And what I've found out, is that it's to do with the way in which your brain interprets all the information being displayed in front of you. Your brain can't cope with this level of information, and causes the side-effects of dizzyness and nausea. A similar thing occurs to people who suffer from epilepsy, where the information being sent to the brain is too much to cope with. Obviously, with epilepsy the sufferer takes medication to deal with the attacks, but some cheat by wearing an eye-patch to limit the amount of information being sent to the brain. This eases the strain and makes it easier for them to do everyday tasks. As both are closely linked, I wouldn't recommend taking medication, but the eye-patch trick might work?"

The amount of people posting "I'll try that now, cheers matey" was comical, so much so that I had to go onto that forum the next day, to see the results. Funnily enough, about 8 of them had tried it, and all posted stuff like "That didn't work at all, tried it for an hour and felt awful" etc etc. After laughing at all the replies, I decided to post "Did it work? No? You dullards!!! lmao" and never set foot into their forum again.

Yearrr, get ye Metroid on ye sick seadog, yearrr!!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well I searched my name on imdb and those bastards masquerading as me can't even spell my name right, the cocknockers that they are.

6:55 AM  

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