Thursday, December 30, 2004

World Of Pain.....Fookin Hell!!!!

Nice.....was bought a Freeview Box as one of me Christmas presents this time around, mainly because we can't have Digital in our flat (bloody landlords). We've started browsing the dodgy channels, to see what we can find. At 11pm every week night, a channel called "FTN" air a programme called "World Of Pain" (click here). There are some poor fucks out there, who survive the stupidest of things. One coloured bloke lost half his skull (and brain), and was walking around with the top right of his skull (and his brain) missing. I wish I could find a picture of it, it was horrific, but highly amusing. Lost a fight to a bullet apparently. His head resembled a half-deflated football, where his scalp was inverted to protect the other side of his brain. His mother was a nutter too. She was laughing at the guy's brother, who threw him a pair of socks, and he caught them in his skull. Fucking loons. The docs had to silicon implant the gap in his skull, making it legal for us to call him a tit-head. Also had some plonker trying to break the land-speed record with a bike. And not the motor variety either, cycling v v fast down the side of a volcano. Only prob was, at the 170mph mark, his bike hit a very slight change of downhill angle, and the difference in force was enough for the bike to break in half. Split second moment of only holding onto a steering wheel before realising that this "may hurt". He rolled for about a mile lol. After he left the hospital, the first thing he done was get the bits of the bike together and try to work out why it smashed. Because you're a bit of a twat, that's why. Take up knitting or something.

I saw another real nasty one involving a guy on a BMX, where the guy goes over a jump, slightly falls and slides across the floor. He stops himself from getting hurt by putting his right hand on the floor, to steady himself. Only prob being, he suddenly stops, looks at his hand, and there's the splinter from hell sticking through both sides of his hand. This thing is about 5 inches long, and at least a centemetre thick, and is not straight through either, it travels diagonally through, just missing his wrist. His hand looked like cheese and pineapple on a cocktail stick. Ouch.

Added new links at the bottom of the page; new flash fruit machine game (start by clicking the coin slot) on me webspace, and another thing called "The Return of Tard-Blog". Now this is a bit of magic. Apparently this is all meant to be true, which makes it even funnier. It's an online diary of the funniest things that happen in a disabled children's classroom, from the viewpoint of the teacher. Damn funny, also includes the archive for the original teacher who started the blog (a Miss Rita Sped), which are incredibly funny. Also was given another link by the team, known as UrbanDictionary.com. Any definitions available, from chavs to nicknames to people we work with (for example, search on Bibby). Very funny site.

Some peeps will do anything for kicks. Bungie jumping, eating tacos, drugs, skateboarding, playing football against Man Utd (fouling twats), anything.

Also, I love http://www.blogger.com , as it decided to lose half of my website template, and I've had to re-design the basic site, losing half of me links. Great. So if I've lost your link, it's not because I hate you, it's because I've basically lost it and can't remember it (because you weren't important lol). Please post your link on the end of this article if you want a link. Unless your site is crud, in which case you can whistle dixie.


Why Blogger, why?

5 Comments:

Blogger Beerli said...

Is a freeview box a normal tele? Do you have digital in Swansea? I'm jealous. We haven't got that in our homes except through set top boxes. The stations broadcast in digital some of the time (!!!) but just about everyone has an analogue set. The digital TVs are hugely expensive. Blogger has lost my links and stuff on more than one occaion. I just go to the template and republish it and it puts everything back. I also keep a back up copy of my template file....but the new look is cool!!! Have a good New Year. I am still laughing. You are a very funny man.

4:46 AM  
Blogger John Coghlan said...

Cheers, am making a backup now.

GOOD IDEA.

The new theme does look cool though, the new look really does look like I've leeched it fom somewhere good :D

9:04 AM  
Blogger John Coghlan said...

Also, thought I'd answer your question too (lol, forgot). Over in the U.K., we're having a bit of a Digital boom at the mo, what with the two main companies battling it out (they being NTL and SKY). NTL relies on coaxal technology (which depends if the cables are laid in the area), and SKY use satalite signals (depends if you live with a good view of a local transmitter). Luckily for us in Swansea, we are near an NTL cabling hub, and also is full of hills (the tallest being Kilvey Hill, which has a fuck-off huge transmitter balancing on it, and a few burnt out cars as neighbours). The companies charge anything from a tenner upwards per month depending on what you subscribe to.

Unless you live in a private flat, like me, where the Landlord of Doom (ok, they're not that bad) will not allow us to have anything drilled in our property, which means both NTL cabling and SKY satalite dishes can't be drilled into the flat. So the third option, which is still fairly new in development, is the Freeview boxes. Main advantage, you use a standard RF aerial, and you only pay once for the box, then not again. Boxes are prices from £45 upwards, and offer roughly 30 more channels to the normal 5 you get with RF (how did I cope?). Am gutted that there's no tacky porn on there though :(

Isn't learning fun?

9:15 AM  
Blogger Beerli said...

Yep, we have pay TV with cable!! That's intersting. Thanks for your time. Shall investigate. Meanwhile...keep smiling.

5:52 PM  
Blogger Nathan Frampton said...

Interesting blog. You may want to check out my blog "Framptonia" at nathanframpton.blogspot.com . I have a few contributors and there are some great discussions.

You may also want to try blog explosion to get more readers on your blog. I have a blog explosion link on my blog if you are interested.

6:00 PM  

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