Tuesday, January 11, 2005

2 Days Left In Work.....

.....then I'm off for a week. Thank christ. This will be my first proper time-off since October time (that's including Christmas, was off for two days for that), except for when I was ill of course. And do you know what I'm going to do? As little as possible. I can't wait :D

Oh god no....Celebrity Big Brother! Another list of hopefuls who really need a career boost have enetered the Big Brother House to entertain people who must be really bored with their own life to watch someone else's. I'm trying to commit suicide at the thought of this with a box of 100 Tic Tacs at the moment, but it doesn't seem to be working. All the Tic Tacs are doing is giving me wind. Let's see who Davina's got this time.

John McCririck - the horse master from Channel 4 Horse Racing is here. Most probably the best celeb in this, he does seem a good laugh and down to earth (well, compared to the other retrobates). You know I mentioned the guy who was dancing in the landlady's PJs (previous article), there's a photo of John McCririck shaking hands and pulling the face with Tommy on the local's billboard.

Germain Greer - a 65 year old feminist who is in it for charity apparently. Roughly translates to rug-muncher ringleader. Well, that's if I interpret it, which is much more fun :)

Bez - except for being named after a hat, Bez is most famous for being a dancer from the Happy Mondays. Must have been a super-sub or something.

Caprice - supermodel Caprice is in the house; she done modelling, she's tried a music career, now she's trying for the wanker's votes, I mean, public's votes (let's be honest, it's only the wankers who will be voting for her).

Lisa L'Anson - a Radio 1 presenter, maybe there's some hope in this program after all.

Jeremy Edwards - or "smug twat" as his friends call him. An actor from Holby City and Hollyoaks, which if you're from anywhere outside the UK you will never see these programs ever, which is just as well. Think's he's Angel.

Jeremy Edwards = Smug Git

Kenzie - Kenzie is one of the guys from Blazing Squad. Is he? Oh well. Apparently according to the Big Brother site he's "looking forward to bringing quite a musical vibe into the house". Blazing Squad are losing out then obviously :p

Brigitte Neilsen - Sly Stallone's ex wife. Oh good lord. What a fecking retrobate. She's basically a horny and rather scary woman, which has lost her 80's looks, and her fame as well. God help Kenzie :)

New Bonus Guest Jackie Stallone - just introduced into the house to stir the crap up, Brigitte's ex mother-in-law is there to wind up Brigitte every time she tries copping onto someone.

So there's the guests, and the T.V. schedule for E4 for the next couple of weeks. They must have run out of re-runs of Friends. I'm sticking to the Cartoon Network.

Over the last couple of posts, I've been travelling into my memories and laughing at times past. There have been some damn funny things which have happened, some of which I'm never going to type on here (just for the fact that me mam reads this blog too, aint she got anything better to do?). I've mentioned some instances of school, and one or two things that have happened in the area. I've seen joyriders changing tyres on stolen cars, people steal in the most blatant of ways in Argos (and get caught too), and had someone wave a gun at me in a pub while crazily saying "there's people out to get me, so I got one of these". Nice bloke. Still though, I've seen some mad things. For example, I used to part-live in a residents on top of a pub in Swansea High Street called The Bush, which at that time was a very popular two floor pub, and I also worked there for a bit too. They had a load of pool tables there as well, which were on the 1st floor. There were a load of windows to the right of these, which overlooked the downstairs roof and the roof of the adjoining building. The 2nd floor had six residents flats, with windows all looking over the same roof. It was a wednesday night before Christmans, around 7pm. I was off work that night and me and my girlfriend at the time were up in the room, and was going to settle down to watch some video. The T.V. video combo were situated right in front of the window, where with the light on in the room I'm silhouted to what's outside in the dark. I glance outside, and see something move on the roof. I turn around to the missus and shout "Turn the light off ffs, there's someone sneaking about outside!". She cuts off the light, and I can see better. What I see is some girl spread-eagled on the roof while some random bloke, while holding a can of carling, is....errm....drinking from the furry cup so to speak (sorry mum!). We glance out the window, and are laughing quite a bit at this. So the missus comes up with a good idea which is "all the regulars are in the pub downstairs, get them up here and give them a show!". So I leggit downstairs, tell all the staff and the regulars, and within a minute that are 13 of us in there glancing outside. Only problem being.......

......there are now three blokes with her. And she's loving it. Dirty little slapper.

The staff run downstairs and bring back THE REST OF THE PUB. We've invaded three of the flats by now for a better view; even the landlady's there watching this. After about ten minutes of this, one of the staff get's bored of watching, open's the window and shout's "Gerrem out!". They all stand up, a bit bemused, and all the windows in the pub open to see us all watching and laughing at them. The three guys stand up, and bow while laughing, and the girl walks away covering her face. One of the barstaff then yelled "Dunno why you're covering you face, we've seen the rest of you!".

So we all go down to the pub laughing, and two minutes later the three blokes from the roof come in for a pint. Quality guys for a quality whore.

EDIT: check this out. Before and after images of the Tsunami from 2 weeks ago, shocking stuff.


Blogger Kate said...

Heh. "Celebrity" is stretching it a bit, wouldn't you say?

5:46 AM  

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