Saturday, February 12, 2005

Odd Thought Of The Day

Imagine having to explain to the Queen...what Bukkake is. I dunno why I thought of that, hence it being an odd thought. Just in case you're completely innocent and you don't know what bukkake is, here's a link to Urban Disctionary's Definition of it. This is a loose definition mind you, as it refers to that with many people at once usually. Oh dear.

Going back to point though, how would you tell the Queen? She could be there, watching Neighbours, and Harold mentions Bukkake in passing in a pub. Ok, that's highly unlikely, but hey, Harold's awesome and capable of anything :D .There was an urban legend with Harold, where in the Neighbours studio, when they have public tours of the sets, they are walked around by one of the cast, and then there's a question/answer session at the end. On one particular tour, Harold got to the question/answer stage, and some cheeky kid asked "Harold, why are you so fat?". Quick as a flash, Harold replied "Because everytime I bang your mother, she gives me a cookie." I so want that to be true, amazing :) .But going back to the point (again), the Queen turns around to the butler, and ask's "Jeeves, what is Bukkake?". He can't really lie to her, I mean she's the Queen, you get hung for decieving a monarch. Plus you never know, she might like the idea, everyone to themselves. So, Jeeves pretty much mumbles his way through the conversation, skitting across saying the inevitable, until he's backed himself into a verbal corner and blurts out nervously "Blokes jizzing on bird!" before he can stop himself. That would be funny as feck :D

Still, it's bukkake season, as Valentine's Day is around the corner, so what do you buy the perfect girl who has everything?

Make Valentine's Day Special

Friday, February 11, 2005

All This Charles And Camilla Bollocks

"Sound Wave", the South Wales no1 radio station did a public text-in poll this morning, asking listeners if anyone actually give a toss about the couple getting married. The results were rather unsurprisingly 99% said no lol. The politicians and upper class people for some unknown reason really have a problem with Camilla, as in not wanting her to be known as a Queen. Both Charles and Camilla are divorcee's, so some countries may complain a bit to have a modern age monarch. I personally couldn't give a rat's arse, as what they choose to do is entirely up to them. Most news reports and TV programmes think it's like Big Brother, and are asking the public to vote wether they should get married or not. To be honest, what has it got to do with them? Go for it Charles, you old gardener.

Did decide on something yesterday though, I'm gonna get a Nintendo DS. I've actually played an american one of the DS, and seen a Japanese PSP too. Played some games on the DS though, and they are well cool. The beauty about this though is that I currently have £140 credit with a local computer shop, so I can just waltz in on the release day, pick on up for £99, with a game for about £25-£30, and pay feck all for it lol. Just to annoy the other people who are queuing :) A good website to see all these running is , where they place trailers for all up and coming games for us to view free of charge.

Link Of the Day

Pet Clothes!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, dressing up dogs is just wrong. A collar is fine, but a full pyjama spread is just fecking nuts.

No, no, no!

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Ikea is Fun!

Last night, at midnight to be presice, saw the opening of the U.K.'s largest Ikea store in London. Oh dear. Now the reason that I say this, if you haven't heard already, was because of this BBC article covering the disaster of an opening day. Between 4-6,000 people turned up, and within half an hour of opening the doors, a load of people were crushed and injured in the rush, and one person actually STABBED another outside the store as well ffs. No wonder it was closed half an hour later. Sounds like grannies and the mention of a Christmas sale.

Furniture sale? FIIIIGGGGHHHHTTT!!!!

Christ, you normally only ever see this in horrible football disasters of history past, not in a fecking furniture outlet. I suppose if enough people got a passion for something, they will put themselves and others in harms way to show it, even if in this case it was a passion for Amorf Wilton Rugs priced £3.90 (reasonably priced too).

Still though, it's only a furniture store ffs, they may as well stick to Argos for the next few weeks until the crowds calm down, with Argos's patented "Lamenated Book Of Dreams" (that phrase was patented by Bill Bailey, not Argos lol). I know people take fashion and home-design seriously, but we never see Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen and Handy Andy duking it out in a full-on streetfight, just for some new curtains.

Found this,Pips Rubberfeet, who posts alot on B3ta and regularly gets frontpage pictures on the site, v good artist. Here's an example;

Damn freaky rabbit

Weird Link Of The Week

A Bible's Lesson On Gays

Was sent this by Keith in work, can you believe that someone actualy drew this for educational purposes? That's the difference with Catholic schools nowadays, always putting in the extra effort :D

Monday, February 07, 2005

Lots of News and Rugby :D

So....Wales won :D I called the result before the match, that it would be close but Wales would do it, finally beat the English with style, and we did too. Utter brilliance :D

I've got the Rugby out of the way, now back to business.....

What's the deal with Burt Reynolds? Having a facelift in his 60's is not the best idea. I mean alot of seniors in Hollywood opt for this, but blimey, look at what they look like. Sly Stallone's mum is a classic example; after she had the op she became swollen and ugly as sin, plus a bum expert (had her own face as a template apparently).

But what does Burt look like now?

A Pishartist's Impression

That's right, he looks like a fecking Thunderbird. According to a poll that I just made up Burt Reynolds is more plastic than Mastercard. His face currently looks more buttocks than botox. Tis a shame really, as he is a great actor from the 80's, and stuff like Boogie Nights was great to pro-long his career, but by doing this he seems to have lost alot of his public dignity. For shame Burt!

PSP or DS?


Which one do I buy, a PSP or a Nintendo DS? I've got £140 credit with a local computer store, waiting for the release date, but I don't know which one to get. So many good features on both, that I can't decide. Whatever happens though is that I will have one by next month. Oh well :D

I'm still rough. This flu aint gone yet, and it's been over a week. My nose is streaming, and I've coughed up a load of colours already this morning. I think the main problem I've had is that I haven't stopped in the last week. I've been feeling rough, and have not rested in the slightest. For example, the sunday just gone I was off work, but I was up at 8.30am, at 9.30am was at my Dentist's house trying to fix his PC. From there, at 10am we went shopping, and got home at approximately 2.30pm. After an hour of putting and sorting all the shopping away, we tidied the flat for an hour. At 4.30pm, I sat down for an hour, then got carted off to a pool match a few miles away. I got in at 11pm, and was absolutely bolloxed tired. Another nasty side-effect of this flu, is that I can't drink otherwise I will feel hell of alot rougher. Maybe because I'm not drinking is the reason that I feel there's an alcoholic thought :)

Saying that, blimey, I almost became an alcoholic. I went through a stage about 7-8 years ago where I used to drink alot of straight vodka every time I went out. That stopped suddenly one morning, where I woke up and saw spiders on the ceiling, running from left to right. I've never seen anything like it in my life; I was hallucinating spiders ffs, and I didn't spend a penny on LSD either. I didn't touch alcohol for 7 months after that, as I was basically too scared to touch the stuff. I have a drink every now and again now though, but only in moderation as compared to the beer monster I used to be. Besides, can't fffing afford the drink at the moment lol :D

Next week, I take up smoking just to quit it and say how better I am than everyone else :D

Link of the Day

If you are one of the cocks with an iPod, impress your friends with this . How to replace the battery icon with a knob. Great :D

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