Friday, April 15, 2005

Ok, Here's A New One

....strange things are brewing in TV Land in the UK. There's two new "celebrity reality" programmes coming to grace our screens very very soon. Both are worthy of a mention on this site, even if it is going to be critisicm :)

Hell's Kitchen 2

The first was an absolute success, and also boosted the careers of a few celebs in the process. Gordon Ramsey tortured 12 celebs in a kitchen, until they could cook. Was damn funny watching some of them break down into tears lol, nout quite like it :) This time around however, Gordon is nowhere to be seen, and is replaced with two head chefs; Gary Rhodes and Christophe Novelli. Both are taking responcibility over two teams of six different as current unknown celebrities, waiting to be reduced to tears. Both teams are apparently competing against each other, hopefully to the death.

Celebrity Wrestling

Now this on paper sounds cool. Two teams of six celebrities, trained to wrestle and beat the crap out of each other. Now that's good TV :D Click here for a writeup on it.

Kate Lawler will be there, woooaaarrrrr

Am meant to be borrowing Wrestlmania 21 on video today from one of the guys in work. Should be cool :D

Thursday, April 14, 2005


Last night.....I missed it by 10 minutes. Damn!

In our local pub, we have an elderly gentleman who goes by the name of Arthur. Now a cross between an elderly version of Popeye and someone suffering from Turrets. If he speaks to you, you will understand approximately 2 words a sentence, and the majority of the time he ends anything he says (if you can understand it) with "....yup yup yup yup yup." This makes communicating with him impossible, but quite laughable at the same time. But Arthur last night was in for a treat. Imagine if you will this Arthur. Now place this imaginary Arthur in a pub. Now imagine the landlady closing all of the curtains in the pub, keeping Arthur in a low lit environment. Imagine Athur with a pint, and his 3 surviving teeth and goofy old lips slurping over the side of the pint.

Now imagine the look of horror on his face when a blonde stripper turns up and rams her arse in his face.

There were no "yup, yup, yups" to be heard. By all accounts, he was not happy. A group of lesbians in the corner were though, they were dribbling :) He insulted the stripper all the way through the proceedings lol. He wouldn't even eat the cream off her nipples either. For shame Arthur!

So she done her act, packed up all her stuff, and I got there 10 minutes after it had finished. Bollocks. One of the guys from the Pool Team did take a few digital photos of the event, which I got to christen, ummmm, look at, which in one picture the stripper is walking over to Arthur and he's got a look of real hate in his face. Classic :)

I always miss the funny stuff, plus an excuse to see baps in public, am well gutted.

Random Link Of The Day

Dface The Celebs - here's one I did earlier.

You are looking quite the fool :)

God I'm bored.

After he missed the baseball, 50 cent was close to tears

That's it...once I've found something interesting I'll link it up for you, otherwise it's back to work for me.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005


Random Link Of The Day

The Ultimate Games Room - This person (whomever they are) has more money than sense.....and has got practically EVEYTHING EVER MADE COMPUTER GAME WISE. I thought I was looking at Toys-R-Us when I was looking at this.....absolutely beserk. To check out his full story click here .

Wooo, there's an internal Pool Tournament going on in work, and I am entered. I'm waiting for some blokey called Scott to e-mail me, and arrange the time for which I am playing. If he doesn't, then I win by default. I've had a couple of matches over the last few weeks, so I'm hoping it will go ok :) In fairness, we've got 64 entrants though, which for a work tourney that's a good outing.

Watched a program on BBC1 last night called "Hustle". I've never fancied it, not since watching the 1st episode of the last season, as it just didn't really appeal to me. But I watched it as I was too knackered to change the channel on the remote lol. Blimey, it spun me out. There was one hell of a con going on, and it was completely fresh, and spun me well out; they stunned the target a beauty, and I couldn't help but laugh as I didn't see it coming either. It was actually all explained at the end, and made sense as well. The writer's a genius, was almost on the level with "The Usual Suspects" for a plot twist at the end. Keep it up, and I might watch it again.

Oh well, back in work again. My phone's warning lights are all off, yet I still have eighty-odd calls queuing to come through. That don't make sense, as when there's just the one queuing you're warned about it. How queer?

Second Random Link

Whack your Boss - Classic :D

A Third?

How Manga Doodles Work - I've always wanted to find this out. Thank the British for inventing Science(tm).

Monday, April 11, 2005

Feeling the Aftermath....

....of the wife's birthday. Urghhhh. What an odd, but rather fun weekend. Was the wife's birthday on Saturday, but the strange things didn't start happening then, no sir.

Friday morning; finished Doom 3. I only just started playing it. Bollocks. Killed that big huge Cyberdemon around that circular portal using a Soul Cube. I cut the bottom half of his leg off then slit his throat. I'm such a nice lad really.

Friday night. We go onto our normal expedition trip to the local across the road from us. We wonder in the pub, and I'm introduced to two blokes from Bristol, who are related to the new landlord of the pub. I am then challenged by these two Bristolians, after drinking a few beers and sambucca, to answer riddles. Which I do. Very quickly. Because I've heard all of them years ago, but not to rub it in or be impolite I go ahead with the game, keeping eveyone happy. Besides, even though they resembled chavs they were making an effort to talk to people, so I'm not going to say anything bad about them. I rather drunkedly then decide that I'd tell them a few "jokes", and they can't look in my direction anymore without laughing. It was almost like "Wycliffe, I'm your biggest fan" all over again.

So Friday night continues as normal, and it hits 11.25pm, where I decide that I'm off for some takeaway before they close at 11.30pm. The wife still had some drink left, so she said she'd catch me up. I get to the takeaway (which is coincidentally my next door neighbours, great recipe for becoming a fat twunt), order my rice with curry sauce (cos it rocks) and go home. I stick the telly on, eat my entire meal, wash the dishes, and watch TV for 20 minutes before the wife comes back home. Apparently, about two minutes after I left, a pub-fight kicked off the size of a Cowboy Western, and I was busy being drunk and ordering food, and missed the lot. There was an ambulance, the Police and a bit of drunken blood going about. Am well gutted, I missed the lot.

Saturday. The wife's birthday. I start off the day by making my wife some breakfast in bed, as it's awfully impolite not to no someone's birthday. I decided to make some bacon and egg baps, which went as well as a wooden space ship. With me, cooking is like something I heard said in the film Dodgeball; "You're as useful as a group of spazzes trying to roger a doorknob". The eggs were mostly horrible and the bacon was burnt, but hey, the rolls were ok (only because I didn't need to cook them). So breakfast went well.

In the afternoon, we went up to visit the wife's twin (not identical, blimey and hell no. They are VERY DIFFERENT). That was a barrel of laughs, as per normal. Except for me nephew Shea, who enjoys kicking lumps out of me. We dropped them down the park, and went home to get ready for the night out.

There's not much that I can say about the night out itself, except that there was a gian inflatable cock involved, and I ended up eating a kebab in the pub with a pint. Was a real good laugh :D

Random Link Of The Day

Tiger Woods Incredible Shot - Click the middle link and watch the genius at play. This shot won him the 16th hole, and should have won him the Masters there and then, incredible to watch (I watched it live last night, was gob smacked).

Last night we had a pool match against a pub in Landore. We were all feeling quite rough....but we still won 8-0. Feck knows how though.

Oh, and one other thing; when the Pope's funeral was on on Friday afternoon. Instead of watching it, I played "The Punisher" lol, moment in history, classic :D

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